I had quite a scare ten days ago. Flashing light and a sudden onset of floaters in my left eye sent me straight to Eye Casualty. The Consultant commended my quick reaction. He found two retinal tears and gave me laser treatment there and then, hopefully to stop a detachment.
Doctor’s order : no bending down, no gardening, no lifting of heavy objects. Just rest the eye.
No need to ban me from the computer, I cannot focus, I cannot read. Unless I just use my good eye. That would be silly, you think? To strain the remaining good eyesight? The temptation is there…
I always thought (who didn’t?) that there was time, that things could wait and I’d do it tomorrow. So. Now, A Tale of Two Cities is on the bookshelf. My daughter just discovered John le Carre and recommended that I should read him too.
I should. I should be good, patient and give it time to heal. Especially now I am so well pampered. All the cooking and gardening are being taken care of. Just rest.
Alright, I relax, listen to the golden oldies. This is the way to curb my restlessness, and frustration, and unspoken fear, I hear you say.
“Tell me that you’ll wait for me
Hold me like you’ll never let me go
Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again”
WHAT? asdfghjklzxcvbnmqwertyuiop WHO WOULD DO THAT?
Let’s make sure. I’m leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again, AND I ask you to tell me that you’ll wait for me.
This is one of my favourites. I remember the words. But for the first time, with my eyes closed, I heard the nonsense, stupid, selfish asking…. What am I going to do with myself? I even get upset by listening to a song.
I am so mean and miserable I could cry.